Being defined that way created a default mode where I was always examining ME and not “them” which served a great purpose for abusers and controllers.Publically, these things were said to discredit me. Why do those foundations get laid in by the controllers in the first place. I was defined as moody and sullen, which may have been true, but why was I moody and sullen?” Even the articles about ‘setting boundary stuff’ are about ‘not engaging’ and not expecting them to change.I never read an article that says, if your family is abusive, humiliating, harassing, degrading or devaluing you, if your family or friends disrespect you privately or publically, then “stay away from them!This is not the relationship that I was “promised” when I bought the idea that we would be lifelong partners. I get where I am very angry with him and don’t want to even be near him. tweet I live in a sexless marriage where my husband thinks it’s ok to brush over this because he loves me and we’re otherwise happy. I don’t want to leave him because I love my kids, I have nowhere to go, I gave up my career for his etc.
Put more simply, we get use to the good things that happen to us.What I’m missing is being desired, having the intimacy and spontaneity that we had before.Breathing each other’s air, cuddling up, caressing faces, shoulders, derrieres, all of it. Where did it go and do I have to go the rest of my life without it? tweetit is so hard to go without any physical connection. I didn’t sign up for this and don’t know what to do.I resisted thinking that I might have been “the black sheep” because to me it was an admission of the rejection that I had always felt; rejection that I was terrified to acknowledge.I tried for most of my young years to comply but even that didn’t keep me safe and the feeling that I was “not loved” was always lingering close by.In my poll, people overwhelming thought those behaviors were just as much of a betrayal as infidelity Still, tell people that you sexual needs aren’t being met, and you’ll no likely hear about how you only “need” sex X times a week or month to be “normal,” or that you should focus on the other great qualities your hubby or wife has.